We Are Set Up to Fail​

 

The truth is, most of us were not set up to succeed in life—not in ways that truly matter. Our educational system doesn’t equip us with what we need to function in healhty ways emotionally, mentally, or relationally. It prepares us to solve problems, not to cope with life.

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Problem-solving is a valuable skill, yes—but it’s only one tool in a much larger toolbox. And it’s a tool that often backfires when used as our only response to life’s difficulties.

 

To make matters worse, we’ve been trained to search for the “right” answer, as if life has an answer key. But it doesn’t. Life offers no single correct solution—only choices, each with their own mix of positive and negative consequences.

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​​​​​​​​This mindset leaves us suffering while problems persist—and often still suffering even after they’re "solved." When stuck in problem-solving mode, satisfaction, calm, and joy remain out of reach. And since life is never without problems, that means peace becomes perpetually delayed.

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To make matters worse, our brains are still wired for survival. Even when our basic needs are met, we operate as if danger is just around the corner. We try to prevent problems before they arise—and prevention is a useful skill—but not everything can be prevented. That’s where coping comes in.

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But no one teaches us how to cope!​

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Stress is not something that happens to you; it is the result of an internal process. To live the life you truly want, you need more than answers. You need understanding — of yourself, your patterns, your triggers, your motivations. You need tools that help you face reality without being crushed by it. You need a way to experience calm, confidence, and connection even while problems exist.

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And that starts with learning how to cope!